Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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