So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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