I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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