I feel great
I just peed on a car
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
4 words: hood of his car
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
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