I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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