and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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