I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
