Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
