Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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