you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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