What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Houston, we have a blender
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
