Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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