if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
