Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
