I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
