I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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