I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
