also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
