I must be too annoying 4 u.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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