at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
