Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
