I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
