yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize