i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
