she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
