I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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