You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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