He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
