Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
