Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
