What did we do last night that was yellow?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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