nut hugger
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
