We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
