At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
