guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
