where am i from again
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I see more hoeing in ur future
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
