How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize