so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
