is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Of course I have a pirate flag
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
