i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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