the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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