There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
