i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
