To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
wanna go halves on a baby?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
