Don't you send me to vm
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
