I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
