whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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