Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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