Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
