He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
