He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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