How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
