I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
