I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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