I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just gift wrapped bread.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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