i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
