so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
