I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
