so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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