ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
