I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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