I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
