i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Randomize