How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
