Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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